Let’s Talk About Mental Health and Nutrition with Dr. Radisha Brown
INTRO: Welcome to Healthy Sexy Nutrition with me, Michelle Fox, culinary nutritionist health coach, and your host for this podcast. I teach busy professionals how to get more nutrition in their bodies and how to have more fun in their home kitchens. If you struggle with consistency or sometimes forget to make your needs a priority, or you avoid planning your meals, you, my friend are in the right place.
Join me each week for inspiration to increase your energy, discover new recipes, manage your hormonal woes, and so much more. You are a busy professional, but that does not mean your nutrition should suffer. You deserve to live in a body and have a life that you love. Let’s dig in.
MICHELLE: Hello. Today we are going to have a conversation with Dr. Radisha Brown, and she doesn't know it yet, but she is my new best friend. We're gonna dig into that, but why you wanna stick around is because we are talking mental health and what does that have to do with nutrition?
So let's dig in.
Know you and I could literally talk all day. I was gonna say one of the reasons, actually, a few reasons why I asked Dr. Radisha to join me today is, one, I just love her energy and in a moment you will understand why. Two, when she and I were going back and forth talking about how we could connect, how we could create some joy for our community, she wrote me back and said, “Awesome sauce,” as a reply to one of mine. I'm like, “I don't think I've ever met another black girl besides me who says awesome sauce.” I'm like, we're gonna be friends.
So Dr. Radisha, welcome. I'm so happy to have you here.
DR. RADISHA: I'm excited. I am excited to be a part of the community to talk mental health. Hey, that's my lane. I love it. I love talking about helping women heal. And so in talking to you just makes it extra special. You know.
MICHELLE: Yay, yay, yay. And I'd love to just jump right in with your story because I believe that's a lot of where our paths intersect. Um, and I understand you are a full grown woman, so you've got a huge story, but the story in particular I'm asking about is how the mental health and the nutrition piece came, and I'm not gonna do any spoilers cuz I'll just let you talk now.
DR. RADISHA: Ok.
MICHELLE: Cause I just love your story.
DR. RADISHA: Y'all get your tea ready cause the hair it is, right? So I am a licensed therapist and a expert in breakups. And so I talk very often about my own breakup and um, and I was married to a serial cheater and that left me broken. I felt like it was my fault, like we all do. I felt like I gave all that I had and still ended up in a, uh, broken relationship and so I chose to use food to cope with that. I ate everything you can think of for a very long time. And fried chicken was my vibe. Right. I ate fried chicken for breakfast, fried chicken for lunch, fried chicken for dinner. Listen, they knew me by my first name at the chicken spots, right.
And if you have ever been in the south and gone to a grocery store called Publix, they literally have the best fried chicken in town, hands down. They knew me by name. I would come in, they would cook my chicken fresh. I would take it home. Eight piece every, every other day.
MICHELLE: Oh, shoot.
DR. RADISHA: Oh, listen…
MICHELLE: Oh, I'm feeling so sad for you tummy right now. Oh my goodness.
DR. RADISHA: All crazy. My hair was falling out besides gaining 80 plus pounds. I literally didn't recognize myself, but food was my drug of choice, right? And so oftentimes we use food, we use, um, alcohol. We use drugs. Or we use hypersexual activity to be able to cope with the pain of life because as humans, our natural instincts are to find ways to deal with the pain.
And so that's what I did in that relationship. I tried to find ways to deal with the pain, which led me to gaining over 80 pounds. I was obese, trying to figure my life out. And one day I was like, “I can't do this anymore. I don't even know who I am.” I'm looking at myself in the mirror. I don't know who this person is. I don't recognize the person looking back at me in this mirror and I was just on my couch crying. I said, “God, I just can't do it no more.” You know when you had that come to Jesus moment when you, like, I, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of my own problems.
That was my wake up call and I wrote about my journey in “Girl, Get Off the Couch” because the, my my moment came as I was on the couch crying and, and I was like, “God, Like I need somebody to come in and take this fried chicken out my hand.”
MICHELLE: Like, literally. Lick all my fingers off.
Yep. I get, I've been there. Mine was, my drug was red wine. Yeah, sounds like your drug was fried chicken. But yes, my drug was a red wine, especially during the Covid.
DR. RADISHA: Right.
MICHELLE: Wasn't related to a relationship outside of myself, but what I now know, of course, hindsight, the relationship with myself, that when I was needing some comfort, it's like that couch and a bottle of red wine and a thing of popcorn. My body suffered, but in the moment I was like, satiating something in there.
DR. RADISHA: Right, right. It was too taken me back to a place where I felt accepted. It, it, it reminded me of my experience where my grandmother, who would cook fried chicken on Sundays, and it felt like I was at peace. It felt like a calming place. So that's why fried chicken emotionally connected with me and that's why I eat it every day. Right.
And so that went on for almost a year. People are like in shock when I say that, but…
MICHELLE: Wow.
DR. RADISHA: Almost a year I ate fried chicken.
MICHELLE: Wow.
DR. RADISHA: Cause I wasn't—the thing is we have to be ready for change. And I wasn't ready at 20 pounds. I was like, Yeah, I mean I can lose my weight, but girl, this fried chicken too good.
MICHELLE: Yeah. Makes me feel good. Like a big plus from my grandma sounds like.
DR. RADISHA: What’s 20 pounds amongst friends, right? I mean like why not? Right? Then it became 30. It was like, Oh girl, that's getting kind of tight. I can't squeeze in these clothes no more. Right? Cause it'll get real tight. Then 40, then 50, but not until 80 pounds where I had my moment. Like.
Jesus. I can't do it no more. I can't live this life no more. I can't continue eat this way. I'm hurting everywhere, emotionally, physically. We're not even talking about the physical changes that happen as a result of using food to cope with pain. And I remember going to the doctor and the doctor told me, “Listen, you're on your route to cancer, you're on a direct route to cancer. Diabetes.”
MICHELLE: Diabetes.
DR. RADISHA: Oh. And I was like, My God, what is going on? And so that moment came, God was like, I was like, “God, can, can you just come get it out my hand?” And if you just take it away, then maybe I will crave it. But in that, in that prayer time and that moment, he was like, “You gotta get off the couch.” You gotta get off the couch.
And so it was four words that profoundly changed my trajectory of my life because it was not only physically getting my butt off the couch and take, taking the, taking the fried chicken out my hand, but it was also that no one will come to save you.
There is no hero coming in this story, knocking on your front door and say, “Hey baby, let me, let me save you. Let me take away all your problems.”
It was a moment of clarity and a moment of fire for me. It was like my, I am going to do everything I can for myself because I'm fit and I gotta fight. I gotta fight to take this weight off. I gotta fight to get my mental health back. I gotta fight for my purpose. I gotta fight for my life and no one else is gonna come to do it.
And God is not gonna just show up and be like, Let me just fix everything. He wants me to work, so I gotta go to work. And so…
MICHELLE: And I imagine—and this actually wasn't in my notes, but as you're talking and I'm like, Wait a minute, you are a licensed psychotherapist, but I imagine you at the same time are probably taking on the brunt of other people's problems while still trying to keep that balance of your own.
So do you find in your practice, or I should say in your industry, I think it does attract a lot of impacts, uh, who do take on probably a little bit too much of other people's energy. So do you think that was part of it as well? With all the things we've been going through.
DR. RADISHA: Helpers. Healers. We are—that's our whole work is helping other people at the cost sometimes to our own selves.
And so part of myy own transformation, my own journey is creating those boundaries for myself as a healer and, and, and the work that I do and boundaries in my personal life. And so often as women, that's what we're trained to do. As little girls, you take care of other people, please other people, ignore your own needs.
Forget about what you want. What it is that they want. What it is that they wanna eat. Where it is it that they wanna go. It's, they take away our voice at such a early age. So it's no surprise, even as professionals, as professionals, as you and I, that we continue with that same behavior. We continue fight the fact of all my degrees that didn't insulate me from serving other people and forgetting my own self, it didn't…
MICHELLE: For being human
DR. RADISHA: Right, it's something, very female experience that we have. And so part of this, this journey, I call healing journey that never ends cuz it's a constant refocusing. It's a constant evaluation. It's a constant taking way different levels in this process is learning how to place yourself first. And it's a very weird feeling for many of us because we are so trained to put our significant others first, our kids, our work, church, the community, the neighbor, the dog, the cat..
MICHELLE: Yes. Yes. I hear you.
And I wanna talk about for somebody who is listening right now, and I do wanna do maybe a little bit of role playing after this, but who's listening, who's saying “Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's Michelle, that's Dr. Radisha. They figured it out. But what can I, like, what does that have to do with me? Like let's—and actually, let's be more specific. Let's even use food. So let's say somebody right now is like, digin through that bottomless pit of popcorn or french fries. Like.
What would you say would be one step to help them perhaps see another way?
DR. RADISHA: Right. Absolutely. And I understand. No judgment. That was me. Girl I, look, unless you eat your fried chicken for a year, you are one step ahead of me. Okay? I would say this, if that's you, if this message resonates with you, if you are at a place trying to figure out your life and using all things to cope with the pain that you are experiencing. I want you to know despite whatever obstacles you face that you are worth the effort required to change. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror, no matter how many pounds you've gained. And I want you to say, Self listen. You are a bad queen, right? And God only made one of you for a reason. There is no one like you on this earth. There's only one of you and you are so precious. You are needed. And it's important for your healing take priority. Right.
And it's about taking one step at a time. I didn't lose 80 pounds in one day. I didn't lose it in one week. It took months and months and months, almost two years to lose 80 pounds. But it required me to take a step forward, just one step. I'm not saying focus on the 80 pounds. I'm not saying getting rid of all your chips just right now. I'm just saying doing one thing for yourself right now, which is to tell yourself that no matter how hard it may seem, you are worth the effort required to change because oftentimes we think we're not, but you are since you.
MICHELLE: Amen. Amen.
DR. RADISHA: That’s it. Put that in your pocket. And what you say, sis, listen, I'm a bad mu, you know, at work. I need to do the work required to heal because I'm important.
MICHELLE: I'm worth doing the work. And yes, it might be painful at first to, you know, maybe walk around the block, but guess what? You walk around the block today.
Next week you're gonna be walking, you know, 10 blocks up to the park and maybe you'll hop on a swing and play with your kiddos. I don't know. But yes, I talked a lot about that in my, I do, um, I don't know if you're aware, but I do group coaching around nutrition and so, oh, one of my programs Healthy Sexy, we try to take baby steps. So it's a 30 day program, but in the beginning I throw a lot of people, or I throw a lot of things at my participants. So it's, we're releasing the gluten, we're releasing the dairy, we're releasing the sugar. And the reason why I do that all at once is cause I think it does kind of shake up your nervous system.
It's like, wait, like let me just hold onto one thing. I think we naturally hold onto one, and then after a while, usually a week later, I'm like, Okay, surprise. Guess what? We're just picking one thing to focus on. And that typically helps us cement that one habit. And then I think when you build that one habit, it's easy to like habit stack the rest of the habits.
So you know, maybe you're starting with no sugar this week, but maybe by next month it's like, okay, I'm ready to release that dairy. I'm ready to feel good in my body because I've proven to myself that I can release that harmful substance that I've been putting inside my body.
DR. RADISHA: Absolutely. And I, I am completely in agreement with you my, when I'm working with clients, I have them focus on one thing, just one thing at a time.
Because when so much is coming at us, we feel overwhelmed and our immediate reaction is to shut down. Like it's so much.
MICHELLE: Yes.
DR. RADISHA: Just focus on one thing. And one of the key things you mentioned was sugar, right? And so as a mental health therapist, that's what I do every day. That's the one substance that we focus around.
And you think about why would a therapist be talking about sugar? Because we know sugar is five times more addictive than cocaine. You think about that. Sugar is five times more addictive than cocaine.
MICHELLE: Ugh. Breaks my heart.
DR. RADISHA: its sugar, and there's a direct correlation between the intake of sugar and your level of depression.
And so I'm talking to you about, you know, utilizing coping skills, figuring out your triggers in depression. I want you to have a full transformation. I want you not only feel better, think better, live better. I want you to have a full transformation, which requires that you examine what we're putting in our mouth.
And sugar is the number one substance directly correlated to depression. So not only are you making your gut healthier and happier, but you're also helping your mental health. You know, oftentimes we think of food separate from our mental health, but they are married to each other.
So the better…
MICHELLE: I want you to continue, but also just to make sure the community comes along with us. I had a client who told me, “Well, I don't eat much sugar, so this should be easy.” But then the thing she didn’t think about relating to sugar was the alcohol. She drank wine almost every night, but she's like, “No, I don't. I don't eat sugar.” I'm like, ok, let's talk about that wine. Cause that immediately turns to sugar.
I noticed at lunch she was eating a lot of white rice, which we know that turns into sugar real fast. She was, there was one more thing that I'm like, “Ah, yeah, you do. You got a lot of sugar.” So just as a no to the community, like really pay attention to those carbs or maybe the sneaky ways that sugar can get into our diets.
But yes, carry on.
DR. RADISHA: Right. And so that's, that's what the important piece is. And you're right, sugar comes in many forms and we don't even think about it. So, so taking just note of the things that you're putting in your, in your mouth and because change requires the first step in change. Any change program, rather, you're doing one of the amazing Michelle's major group programs, or you doing mental health services, whatever it is. The first step in change is acknowledging that there's a problem, right? And as long as you stay in denial. And denial is a very comfortable place at times. Right? That couch was real comfortable.
MICHELLE: Yup.
DR. RADISHA: You had the problem, but denial weighs out. Basically, there's an expiration date on the denial, and so once we have that, oh my god, aha moment, then everything kind of rushes in. But certainly keeping account of where sugar, you're getting sugar. For me, my biggest intake of sugar was sweet tea.
MICHELLE: Oh, that's right the southern girl. Got the southern girl on the call.
DR. RADISHA: You know, we like our sweet tea with sugar and a little bit of tea, real cold.
MICHELLE: Wow.
DR. RADISHA: So I can only imagine how much sugar was in that sweet tea. And I drank a 32 ounce cup of sweet tea every day.
MICHELLE: Oh, you are breaking my heart. But, but you overcame it.
So again, like, what was it? Like what was the light bulb that flipped for you? Because again, as a practitioner, we can talk to other people and we can easily see their issues and maybe hold their hands and walk them through. But when it comes to us, I think it's really easy, like you said, the denial. It's easy to be like, “Oh yeah, yeah. I've been talking about it all day, so I, I, I know what this is. It's just one sweet tea today. It's okay.” Like how did you like flip the switch for yourself?
DR. RADISHA: It was trial and error, right? I didn't get first go round. It took multiple times before I got it, right. It was like, “Oh yeah, this is what I need to do.”
Because you go through the ebb and flow. A change process. A healing journey doesn't look like I start at A, and then I end up at Z, right? I oftentimes use the example of, Hey, I live in Georgia. Hey, we might start off in Georgia and we, and on our route to California, we might make it to Tennessee, and then we find ourselves back in Georgia.
And so that's what the change process looks like. That's what it looked like for me. I'm not here to say that you can do it in 30 days. That's just impossible. You learn a new habit in 30 days. You don't completely change your life in 30 days. And that's the key. And those small habits, so small, itty bitty little steps, you're like, Oh, but those don't make a big difference.
When you look back over 30 days, 60 days, six months, you look how far you've traveled. That's how you know the growth has taken place. You don't see it every day. And change really is about those daily decisions we make. It's not about, Oh, I'm gonna get my nails done, girl, I'm gonna get my hair laid. It's about what am I doing today for myself?
What am I choosing for myself today? Am I gonna cook some, some baked chicken and some veggies, or I'm gonna go to McDonald's and get the burger and the french fries. What am I doing for myself today? And that's how you heal. That's how you change what you're eating. That's how you change what you're thinking. That's how you transform and create this life that you want for yourself. I'm all about helping you create the life you want, right? Everybody. Everybody meant to be a size six. Everybody meant to be a size two. Its what do you want for yourself? And let's figure out a way to get there.
MICHELLE: I love that and not be afraid to ask for help.
I will tell you, I don't mind sharing that. Um, back in the day, early twenties, actually early twenties and before I was a professional dancer and it's very common. I did have a eating disorder and I learned how to hide food. And so now, you know, 20, 30 years later, I am crystal clear that if I start getting those thoughts or if I start getting those cravings, I tell somebody immediately.
So like, I'll tell my husband or I'll tell my daughter like, Hey, I'm craving a cookie right now, and I may or may not eat that cookie, but at least they're not gonna find like cookies hiding in my car or in, you know, the cabinet where the dog food is. I just have to be really clean and clear with my choices.
And then that way it saves me from binging. Like I, I don't remember the last time I binged like, thank the Lord, literally, and thank all the helpers, the therapists that I have spoken to. And I will say to you, I'm just so grateful for the work you do in the world because as you and I were talking about before, like I can talk 24 hours about nutrition right now, but my clients aren't gonna be able to hear it or apply it to their lives if they have these other stories running in their head.
And that's where you come in and that's where you have a beautiful gift in helping us to unpack some of these layers that are helping us treat ourselves like the worthy queendoms and kingdoms that our bodies are.
DR. RADISHA: Right. Absolutely.
MICHELLE: Thank you. Thank you for your work.
DR. RADISHA: Absolutely. Thank you. And thank you for the work that you do.
You know, it's a, it's a community, uh, change process. We all support one another and, um, and askingl for help, certainly I had to get help even as a therapist. I had to get professional help. And I always say I created my Healing Dream team. So I had my therapist, I had my nutritionists, I had my personal trainer.
I was like, everybody got a role, right? It's gonna take all of us working together to change all of this happening. And so there's absolutely nothing wrong with getting help and, and it's so important so that we can figure out how to do this thing called life. And to do it in a way that makes us happy and brings us joy.
MICHELLE: Absolutely. And I feel like even this conversation is a sign that we as a community are moving forward so much faster than. Even just five years ago, like people were not just talking about therapy out loud, like it was a hush hush. And so I'm asking you, have you noticed a change, especially and particularly with the black community, that we are more open to therapy and getting help?
DR. RADISHA: Absolutely. There's so many more folks coming into therapy, a lot more diversity happening with therapy. The pandemic really shifted things for the mental health industry. It really brought to face the struggles that we're having with anxiety and depression and eating issues and trauma, because we could, we didn't have those coping mechanisms that we used to be able to, to kind of deal with the pain before. We didn't, we couldn't go out to the, the, the clubs and the bars and we couldn't go to the movies. We couldn't go to the park, since everything was shut down. So here we are still with depression, anxiety, and trauma, and we don't have any way to cope with it. So it…
MICHELLE: Felt trapped.
DR. RADISHA: Right, like. Oh my God. This is the time I need to see somebody. Okay, where's that therapist person? They say… .
MICHELLE: It's like, I know, I've heard Dr. Radisha telling me I need to come in, but oh, maybe it's time to actually call her.
DR. RADISHA: So therapists, I mean, our, the practices have just exploded. Which is a good thing, which is the thing we've been hoping and praying for. The downside of that is there's just not enough of us, right? There's just not enough of us providing care to the community. And so we're trying to grow our numbers, but in the meantime, we're trying to service, find creative ways to service the, the masses. And so I'm, I like the fact that we are able to to reach people and in the comfort of their homes.
I like the fact that people are asking about therapy and how to, to change things in their lives, and couples are coming to therapist. I have a lot of male clients that, I mean five years ago seeing a, a single man come into therapy was like a unicorn. It's like I saw a unicorn. What?
MICHELLE: Yes. We gotta look out for our brothers as well. Absolutely. Absolutely.
DR. RADISHA: So it's just a great thing to see that people are choosing themselves. That's what it's about. It's about choosing. Make it—understanding that you're important enough to. Regardless of all the other priorities we got going on in life, and God knows everybody has a list of them, but understanding that despite all of the things, I'm important too, and just so that you can heal.
And so it's a great thing.
MICHELLE: As you were saying that one tip I'd love to share with the community is Michelle Time. My children were trained from a very young age that on Tuesday evening, don't think about mommy, don't think about Michelle. Cuz Michelle's gone. And that was, it was back when I was working in corporate eight to five and you know, just like as you were saying, I had the pressures of the eight to five and then coming home with the family and something just had to give.
And I reached out to a therapist. So I, I learned this through therapy is that, I just had to find at least two. She's like, you can find two hours a week. And so that was it. After work on Tuesday nights, I'd either, you know, take myself to a park or I'd take myself to a nice dinner, or I'd go to the movies or I'd go to a yoga class, like something where nobody could find me.
I didn't have to report to anybody. I just got to focus on me. And that, just knowing that I had that to look forward to every week, like that made me a better mom and a better wife and a better worker, I think because I had that outlet.
DR. RADISHA: Right? I tell parents all the time. You need time away from your children and especially moms. They have such a hard time with it. What do you mean they, you know, they have the guilt. They have the what, what ifs. And I'm like, for your own mental health, you need time away from your children at least two hours every week. At a bare minimum, you need to have time away from your significant other and from your children.
MICHELLE: Amen.
DR. RADISHA: Cool. That's cool and fair.
MICHELLE: Whew. All right. So, wow, I had to do this conversation fast. It's, and I like have so many more questions. I'm like, um, um, well, About this. Can I have you back? In fact, I do. Facebook Lives every second and fourth Thursdays of the month. May I put you on the calendar down the road?
DR. RADISHA: Absolutely. I would love to come back, you know, as therapist, you know, you gotta tell me to shut up. Girl.
MICHELLE: You have just expanded my heart. You have blessed our community. Thank you so much for being here, Dr. Radisha. It's been a pleasure getting to know you and I hope to get to know you better, both personally and professionally.
DR. RADISHA: Absolutely. Absolutely. We are in this thing together, girl. You got, you got my personal cell and not everybody got that.
MICHELLE: So now tell tell me and our community, where can we find you?
DR. RADISHA: Uh, you can come on, Join me on the gram @drradishabrown. You can, uh, visit my website at drradisha.com. And if you're looking and need help in your journey towards healing, come check me out. I'll be more than happy to help you.
MICHELLE: Oh, I love that. Thank you so much.
DR. RADISHA: Absolutely. Absolutely. It was great talking to you.
MICHELLE: Thank you. We'll talk soon.
So there you have it. Thanks so much for listening to Healthy Sexy Nutrition.
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Keep showing up for yourself and know that you and your health matter. You deserve to live in a body and have a life that you love.
